The struggle for being active.

Since I started on the internet I've always been keen to keep up with things and make friends..I mean after all I have made some of my best friends on here thanks to meetings on on-line communities. However times have changed and I feel that this is the same for my attitude.

At the start of 2009 I started to go into somewhat of a decline in my work. For whatever reason I started to slowly lose the will to draw or impress with my ability. This reached it's low point in the autumn and winter of last year, even into this year. It kills me inside to think that I can't bring myself to even pick up a pencil. Yet I felt this and it dragged on for awhile.

As I slowly start to recover what motivation I have(which is a lot, I just need to work at it) I realise that due to this I have lost what I built up on art communities. Something died when my will died and I ruined what chances I was given to be active again. But as it goes, 'the more you post the more they recognise you' and it couldn't be more true. Which is why RP accounts are taking over SA more and more each day.

I need to change myself, I need to finish the art pieces I said I would do. I have little odds and ends to finish with some pieces. I'll get to that this weekend.
Until then I'll head off to school and spend the next 3 days working my arse off. Hope it doesn't fall off.
P.s I was wise to delete that last journal entry c;

Jenna x

[insert apologies here]

First off I WILL post my art on here. I just need a bit of help with it..cause I don't understand blogger ok.

2nd I'm just making a quick post to add activity, I would write a tl;dr about yesterday but I really don't wish to do that. Thursday was faaail :c

Complete and utter fail.
Anyone know how to draw a torch? halp.

I'll make a better post when I get back from school
in teh mean while: WATCH GURREN LAGANNN <3

[insert horror here]

Daniel is a douche, if it wasn't for him I woulda made this post much later but anyway~

I had kinda a horrific experience in assembly today because I cannot speak for shit. But it's over now. I kept repeating things like 'AMAZING' way too much. Amaaazing. :[
Yet I did actually get to..teach today. I've never done that in my life. In my school schedule what happens is that I get free periods in the day and it turns out that I am allowed to help out with the art class when I have those frees for the younger ones. Taught kids how to shade their cubism pieces and they actually took what I was saying and used it well! I may actually try to teach art to school kids later on in life, it felt so good helping them out in something I love.

School has also gotten so much better, all my classes are fun. I enjoy learning now and things I want to do. Plus I'm being more productive too! Art wise anyway :] Back into some form of creative routine. However I'll show people WIPs if they ask cause really I prefer showing people personally those things, not on here. Sketched a few things too, happy days. Experimenting more and more.

Also Muse's album is lovely. Especially when Matt plays Chopin. You have no idea how in love I am with that song now. Can't wait to see them live <3

ALRIGHT I'M DONE
Happy now? >:U

[insert socalising here]

Oh hmph, hmph hmph hmph

Had my first day at school today. I'm very much enjoying the 6th form! Feels weird that not only do I have no uniform but the fact that I have free periods. I can go home early, damn!
I got all the teachers I wanted which turns out awesome cause now I have Mr Spray for..way too much than a normal person should haha. Politics is fascinating, a tad confusing but still. I need to have a history class and hopefully it'll be just as good! The Year 13s are rather scary though..not going near them.

Drawing wise I'll hopefully get something done today..HOPEFULLY
And recently I've realised that I'm very..protective of old friendships. As a result it's not gonna end well :c Or I act from past events. And I realised that it's better off not mentioning much about myself, that way I can focus on the other person's happiness :] My happiness looks..like gloating. Voluntary giving of information, I was a fool to let my mind slip and do that for 1 time. 1 time too much :c

Oh well, learned from that! That's what counts..yeup.
And I applied for a job for the first time in my life, nervous much. Maybe it'll work out..I hope it does. I owe my mum way too much.

[insert intro's here]

WELL HELLOoo there.
I had a blog here before actually but it was terribly..emoist.
You can only be as emo as you feel and that blog hasn't been used since like..March. Maybe I got oh so happy around that time? I don't know. Fact of the matter is that now I'm trying to give whatever blog I make a happy look.
BALATANT LIES eventually I won't put it past myself to be depressing. However I'm happy to let anyone read that now. Because I know there will be few people reading this B)
..the black layout doesn't really help that does it
..I'll work on it when I figure out how to edit stuff. I'll force Dan to help me out. Because he is my wife afterall. Maybe his help will be better than his dinner. I'M JOKIN BBY RLY.

What's happened today?
I could have gone to my friend's party get together thing but I really don't feel up for it. So I told her I had work to do. Which isn't actually a lie cause I still do. Another page of art wouldn't go amiss for my class. And a bloody politics essay...I still don't know what it means to be British. My step father keeps telling me you can't write it down in an essay, so don't write it. I think I may actually follow his lead. Afterall, it could mean so much! Hopefully Mr Spray takes that excuse.
Speaking of school I'm looking forward to it! Will be nice to see all my friends (especially George) again :]

Just a quick bloggy post.I'll put wips up here aswell hopefully. I just need to tell people about this blog...

Also you know how annoying it is that everywhere is looking for temps in the christmas period? GREAT THE ONE YEAR I'M IN SCOTLAND.
Fuckin Job cycle. I'll never understand. ;_;

[/inserting]